...

I know it's wrong, but sometimes I just want to end my life just to see her reaction and if she finally takes back everything she's done to me. Honestly her constant angry outbursts get on my last nerve and all this rage and anger just builds up whenever I have to interact with her.

she can't be serious right now

This bitch seriously just said, "When ya'll finish school I'm gonna start working on me." The fuck? Why are you waiting 4 or so years for that to happen when your fat ass should be looking for a full time job right now? What you need to be doing is losing weight and out here looking and applying to some jobs instead of complaining every two seconds and waiting on someone else to do it for you. 

something.

One thing I don't really get/understand is that my brother really screwed himself over his first year in college, and doesn't go to the school he went to anymore because he has no scholarship money and we definitely can't afford it, but he shows zero effort in really looking for a job or trying to get into a community college to get his credits unless my mom yells at home so he just ends up leaving the house. I mean all he wants to do is play video games and  see his girlfriend and go to the mall and all that. I'm not sure if it's because that's just how he wants to deal with all of this or if he really doesn't want to go to school or if he feels that college isn't for him. If the later is the case, I feel he should atleast say something now so mommy will stop fussing and screaming and just let him do whatever it is he wants to do, but atleast get a job or something. He literally has NO money saved up or anything because he would use it all when he was in school. 

It's just hard with all the yelling and fussing and screaming. I'm trying to stay positive and hope for the best, but so far it's not looking so bright. 

Can't stand her

This bitch has the nerve to say we do nothing, but sit around on the computer all day? What the fuck are you doing but waiting to see if other people can do everything for you. I really can't stand being in this house with her, she flips out when other people won't do what SHE needs to have done and then makes everyone else in the house suffer.

are you serious?

Honestly I don't understand how some people can make a huge fucking scene about a favor they requested someone else do. This is benefiting YOU not me, I'm not the one that needs this, you do. And now you're gonna go an cut off the cable because you're too lazy to go and look for jobs for YOURSELF or finish YOUR resumé? How the fuck do you look. Seriously FUCK you.

Terrible (Bad News pt. 2)

I was excited to be away from home and hanging out with the homies in ________ since it would be one of the last times we're all together with all of us going to different schools and what not next year. The first night was chill, I stayed over a friends house and the next day two other friends came up and were staying at the same place I was for the night. Our intentions were to go out to dinner later that night and meet up with more friends who were staying in town with another friend and what not. The dinner was alright for the most part, there was some drama (especially when it came to the bill), and then we were all looking for stuff to do afterwards (mind you pretty much everyone was drunk & high except for me because I don't do that) so I'll cut down some of the stuff that happened before I get to the bad part, but there was a lot of hooking up, a lot of drinking, and so my two friends and our host ended up leaving to hang out with a friend of hers closer to her house so just in case her mom called we could say we're coming home. We end up meeting with her friend and I had the idea that we were going to their place to chill for a bit and then go home. Boy was I wrong. They brought us to their "chill spot" which was a basement, and mind you there were...

I'm sorry, but I honestly can't write the rest. I just want to say that if I could go back I would want everything that happened to you that night to have happened to me and I should have pulled all you guys out of there no matter the consequence instead of sitting back and then eventually leaving that place. I'm sorry to have yelled and swore at ya'll because I had no idea what really was happening. I just sat there and watched without doing something. After that night I know you said to me that if you killed yourself that you would have no shame or regret about it, and I don't ever want you to say anything like that again, but at the same time I too wanted to do the same for not being the friend I thought I was and that not being here would help numb the pain of what happened. 

Bad news pt. 1

First off I just wanted to say that things have gotten a lot worse in these past few days, my brother can't go back to school because he screwed up terribly his first year so my mom is upset at him for doing that, and my dad tries not to say anything and act like he doesn't care, but I know he does, but that's just how he is. My mom found out before it was time for me to head out to NY to see my friends and what not, and she learned that my bro didn't improve his grades from first semester and in order for him to come back he would have to make up 20 something credits over the summer and without any type of financial aid that wouldn't be possible. So now he's out of school and it's just so hard on my mom. I hope this teaches him a lesson and he learns from it.

Have no fear, my troubles only worsen.